Pre-launch: free to reserve, free to cancel. Free shipping on 3+ pails. Pickup in Wahiawā by arrangement. Send junk luck home.
Junk Luck Fortune Cookies
Fortune cookies with gentle misfortunes: H-1 traffic, parking, rain on your side only. Designed in Hawaiʻi for the people you love enough to tease, whether they’re down the road or across the ocean.
Cousin on the mainland? Send it home
Free to reserve, free to cancel
Keep scrolling. It gets worse.
You will leave ‘early’ for the H-1. So will everyone else.
Fortunes come in plain, light and full Pidgin. Prices and labels are always plain English.
Tap the cookie.
Go on. It’s only junk luck.
Know who deserves um?
Pick the pail · from $21.99We only tease the situation, never the person. Swipe for more junk luck.
You picked a lane. The cones picked another. Both are parked.
Yo strap wen pop in da crosswalk. Da signal no wait fo you.
Even the mountains called in sick. Sunset is more of a rumor.
Forty minutes in da gas line. Next week, you goin go again.
Two scoop rice, one scoop mac. The lid will not close. It never closes.
‘Quick call at 9?’ Their 9 is your 4 a.m. Quick, sure.
Sealed jar. Closed cabinet. Da ants stay in da sugar awready.
Flew home with one bag. Flying back with four. Half of it is snacks.
Know somebody who’s lived all eight? Send them a pail.
Send junk luck
IllustrationFree shipping at $50 or more, so 3 pails and up.
Concept art
One pail. 12 misfortunes and 1 lucky cookie. Good for a coworker, a cousin, or you on a bad Monday.
Free to reserve, free to cancel. We’ll email you before anything ships.
Illustration. The real pail is plain white with a removable sticker. Photos coming soon.
One pail. 12 misfortunes and 1 lucky cookie. Good for a coworker, a cousin, or you on a bad Monday.
Three pails for the breakroom: one for your team, one for the other floor, one you ‘forgot’ to share.
Six pails for reunions, potlucks and white elephant season. Mac salad not included.
Travel misfortunes for the friend flying out without you: Vegas, the mainland, or home to visit.
Send us a photo and we’ll replace the pail or refund you.
We pack your order by the date we post, or we refund your shipping. We can’t promise when USPS delivers it.
For the ones far from home
No can mail plate lunch. Can mail junk luck.
If you live in Hawaiʻi, you know somebody up there: a cousin in Vegas, a friend in Seattle, an auntie in Sacramento. If you moved away, you know who you miss. Mail them a pail.
You can’t mail them the H-1. You can mail them the junk luck that comes with it.
Send one home · $21.99Rough Tuesday on the mainland? Mail yourself a pail from home. You wen earn um.
Mail me one · $21.99Finals week, dorm food, one microwave. Slip a pail into the care package.
Send one · $21.99No card today.
Just takeout. Nobody goin suspect.
Prank Mode
Peel the sticker and it’s just takeout. Nobody looks twice at a takeout pail.
Prank rule: friends and family only, never strangers or kids. Check for allergies first, own up fast, and leave the info label on the pail.
Start the prank
Illustration
1lucky cookie, marked with a yellow dot
Real fortune cookies, individually wrapped. We don’t spoil the fortunes here: the ones in the pail are a surprise.
Find um, or no tell. Plus a removable sticker for Prank Mode.
The ingredient and allergen list gets posted before the first batch ships. See the FAQ.
Packed by hand in Wahiawā, shipped USPS.
Packed in Wahiawā and mailed USPS to your door. We email tracking when it ships.
Maui, Kauaʻi, Molokaʻi, Lānaʻi, Hilo and Kona. Ships USPS, same prices.
USPS Ground Advantage. Plan on up to 21 days. Yes, the ocean is big.
By arrangement during pre-launch only. Write ‘pickup’ in the ‘Who for, and where?’ box when you reserve and we’ll email you.
Sending it to somebody else? When we go live, we ship straight to them. No prices in the pail.
Same prices on every island. Delivery times are our best estimates; USPS has the last word. Nothing ships until the first batch is ready, and we’ll email you first.
No. Reserving takes an email and a pack choice. No card, no payment, and it’s free to cancel: reply to our email, or just skip checkout. We’ll email you first when it’s time to check out.
Anyone from Hawaiʻi, wherever they live now, and the people who love them enough to tease them. Cousins, coworkers, friends, you.
No. Every fortune passes the Auntie test: nothing crude, nothing mean about anybody’s body, family or background. We only tease the situation: traffic, slippahs, ants.
Peel the removable sticker and the pail looks like plain takeout. Swap it in at the table and watch. Friends and family only, never strangers or kids. Check for allergies first, own up fast, and leave the info label on the pail.
Yes. Real fortune cookies, individually wrapped. Only the fortunes are junk.
Honest answer: designed and packed by hand here in Wahiawā. So we say “Designed in Hawaiʻi” and nothing more. Hawaiʻi has rules about that other label, and we follow them.
We’ll list the ingredients and allergens before the first batch ships, once we’ve confirmed them. Until that list is up, we can’t speak to allergies, so please wait for it.
Pre-launch right now: the first batch hasn’t shipped, and we’ll email before anything goes out. Once we’re live, standard shipping is up to 21 days to the mainland and expedited is about 7 days from order. Oʻahu and neighbor islands ship USPS too. First-batch dates get posted at the top of this page once they’re set, and they’re our best estimates.
Yes, once we’re live. We mail USPS, straight to them, with no prices in the pail. Tell us who it’s for and where in the ‘Who for, and where?’ box when you reserve. Delivery times are in the question above.
By arrangement during pre-launch. Write ‘pickup’ in the ‘Who for, and where?’ box when you reserve and we’ll email you. After pre-launch, we’ll update this page.
This applies once orders are paid. Right now nothing has shipped and nothing has been charged. After launch: Cookie no good? We fix um. Send us a photo and we’ll replace the pail or refund you. Straight dates: we pack your order by the date we post, or we refund your shipping. We can’t promise when USPS delivers it.
It’s what you say when life hands you junk luck. Rain on laundry day? Bummahs.
Yes please. Start on the wholesale page.
You already know who. (Yes, that one.)
Send junk luckOne email when the first batch is ready, plus the odd misfortune. No mo spam.
We’ll only email about Bummahs.
